Confession: I say sh*t

Oh my, this parenting business is truly a roller coaster not for the faint of heart. The writing of this story was delayed about a week so that I had time to get over my public mortification and embarrassment. I’ve successfully maneuvered through my walk of shame and am now ready to share another chapter in my life with boys. Disclaimer: All parties, except for my boys, will remain anonymous to protect the innocent.

Each day when the boys get out of school the absolute first question that I ask my oldest is, “Owen did you stay in the GREEN today”? The color indicates that he’s been a “good” boy for the day and didn’t have any mishaps with friends or with the teachers and that his behavior was at least better than all of the other hooligans in his class. Most days he tells me joyfully, I stayed in the GREEN, we exchange high-fives and go about our business… or he shares intel about the other kids who got on YELLOW or even the most reviled color RED…and explains in super specific detail what they did, how it all went down, who were the accomplices, kids he stays away from for fear of the other colored cards.

This brings me to last week…

Me: Owen did you stay in the GREEN?

Owen: Yeaaah…um, no, I didn’t (slight pause, head shifting down) I got a YELLOW card.

Me: What happened buddy, why didn’t you stay in the GREEN?

Owen: I was talking to (friend) and I told him that when my mom gets mad she says SH*T

Me: WHAT?! Owen, you said that in class?!

Owen: Then (friend) told (Instructional Aid) who then told (teacher who also acts as the principal of the school) and Mrs. Tonotbenamed pulled my YELLOW card.

Me: (BIG PAUSE …and in my mind I’m thinking oh SH*T!)
Owen we don’t say that word, that’s a bad word.

Owen: I know…that’s what Mrs. Tonotbenamed said…she told me to never ever say that word again. Are you mad?

Me: (still thinking in my head SH*T)…yes I am furious that you would say that word.

I like to give Chris a quick text if I feel like it’s going to be a crap-a-licious evening, you know, just to give him some warning so that he’s not walking through the front door all joyful and BAM, I smack him on the head with an ugly stick. But since I was driving home and I was angry, I didn’t want to put us in more danger by texting, so I called him and said two words… BAD NIGHT! Silence on the other end of the phone and a quick “ok, we’ll talk when I get home”.

By the time Chris got home, Owen and I had re-hashed the entire events of the day, hour by hour, to figure out what Owen had said, why he said it, who he had said it to, who heard, and in doing so probably said SH*T a thousand more times. All I remember is telling Luke that he should never say the word that his mama was now using in every sentence. To make matters worse, Owen’s enunciation of the word was remarkably clear…every last letter could be heard and he used it appropriately in a sentence…if only he would/could do that with all of the sight words he has been learning. Things got even worse because Owen then started to flip flop on which bad word he had said…first it was SH*T and then it turned into A$$, although he couldn’t quite say it correctly (thank goodness) and instead was saying AST. Phew, that was a close one!

Chris gets home and I’m a mess. We sneak away to our official family meeting room, which is our closet. Since there is no lock on the closet door I stand against it in case the little monsters try to enter, which I can hear them just outside the door trying to turn the nob. I tell Chris the whole story and he’s all relieved since he thought that it was something truly horrific…and for whatever reason, I wasn’t relieved, because this was horrific in my mind. I’m a horrible mother…the worst ever…no mother says SH*T when she’s mad at her kid.

I wake up the next morning still very upset that I have such a potty mouth. Owen and I talk everything over and I apologize for not using good words, we hug and are all better until I realize (SH*T, fiddle sticks) I have to take Owen to school and face Mrs. Tonotbenamed.

We get to the school and start to go through our normal routine… getting kids, backpacks, lunch boxes, and jackets out of the car. After we zip up our jackets we then begin the s.l.o.w. walk of shame through the parking lot and into Owen’s classroom. We first run into the Instructional Aide, she smiles at me and I know that she knows, and dang it, his card is still yellow and that’s all it takes…my face turns beet red and I quickly give Owen a hug and take Luke to his class. Of course I totally jinx myself because I think that at least I didn’t have to face Mrs. Tonotbenamed (you know, the principal of the school!)…and as I begin the walk out to my car after dropping off Luke, there she is. She and I exchange good mornings and off I slink to my car. Oh, the horror.

Of course it all seems super funny to me now…not so much last week.

Lesson #1,458 – never ever say bad words!

Who Needs a Sled When You Have a Padded Bum

For Christmas, Gramma and Papa gifted the boys snow gear for when they go up to the cabin. Big poofy jackets, snow pants that are perfectly waterproof, boots, and gloves that are nearly impossible to put on ten chubby fingers!

The boys' loved their new snow outfits to the surprise of everyone. So much so that upon Luke first receiving his present, he suited up inside the cabin (which was probably around 70 degrees) and sat on the recliner watching cartoons. You could barely see his face through all the poofiness!

A few weeks after Christmas we headed back up to the cabin to play in the snow. Luckily, we didn't have to even go to the park because my parents had plenty of it still attached to the steep hills on their property. The boys' had an absolute blast and most importantly stayed warm and dry!

As always, Chris was right there with the boys showing them how to perfect their snowball making skills. Later on Luke and Chris partnered up in the snowball making process...Luke made the snowballs which then he would hand to his daddy so that he could throw it at Owen. They were a good team!

Papa doesn't much like the wet stuff, so he stayed inside the toasty cabin while the boys played outside.

Owen takes snowball fights very seriously...so does his Daddy!

Luke called these "ice skates"...close enough I say!

Although the boys were given sleds for Christmas as well, they would much rather slide down my parents' snow hill on their bums. Man, they went so fast down the hills! They would take huge running starts, fly through the air, hit the ground with their bums and would zoom down the hill, laughing the entire time.

Luke is no dummy...he took cover behind the big tree!

 

I love how red Luke's cheekies get when he is playing outside. No blush required!

 

And of course the snow adventure wouldn't be complete without hot chocolate with whip cream. Luke would much prefer just a cup full of whip cream!

To the Hair Salon Customers...

I apologize.

I am so sorry that we disturbed your quiet and restorative place of beauty with the wailing and screaming of a 3-year old boy this afternoon. Granted, it was only for about 15 minutes, but I can understand why you thought that I might be torturing my son with a hair cut given that his older brother sat there, just twenty minutes earlier, quietly reading a book and telling our beloved hairdresser about his favorite animals. 

Beloved hairdresser: Owen what’s your favorite animals?
Owen: Sea Turtles, Sharks, and the Octopuses
Beloved hairdresser: Why do you like the sea turtle?
Owen: I like the sea turtle because it travels fast in the sea currents
Beloved hairdresser: And why the shark?
Owen: because the shark is fast
Beloved hairdresser: the octopuses?
Owen: they hide quickly…I like things that are fast…I am going to be a “triathlon” when I grow up because I’m fast. 

 

And then there was Luke…he sounded as if someone was cutting off his ears with the hair shears... 

He had a bad day… 

A bad day that included a “naughty” note sent home from school outlining an epic all-day battle between a stubborn 3-year old and his teacher….a tug-of-war concerning a {stupid} plastic spider man toy that couldn’t quite stay put in a small, designated cubby.

The outcome, teacher 1: Luke 0.

For those of you that know Luke, this did not go over well, especially when his teacher took the spider man toy away for the entire day. Oh she did! And as a result, little man was super frustrated and angry and was finished with people telling him what to do…thus the screaming at the salon.

 

Again, my apologies…thank you for only giving me a few exasperated looks. Your tolerance was greatly appreciated as this haircut was desperately needed so that my boys only act not look like wild crazy loons.

Christmas Vacation

What I love most about writing is the fact that I get to relive each moment I spend with my boys. I not only get to experience them in real time but each time I put pen to paper, or in my case fingertips to computer keys I get to recall the details of each photograph that was taken or snapshot in my mind.

Writing and photography affords me the precious opportunity to also rewrite our days and hold a bit tighter the sweet nuggets that happened in the middle of all the absolute craziness.

Perspective…

Unlike any other Christmas, I was able to spend a full fourteen uninterrupted days with my boys. Count them, 1…2…3…4…5…14 days!

I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say that some of those days seemed very, very long.

Two rambunctious and energetic boys that on occasion: fought, screamed, cried, were noisy, took naps, didn’t take naps, ate what seemed like every two hours, argued, played, colored, put together puzzles, were silly, were naughty, painted, read, went to the park, giggled (a lot), talked (sometimes incessantly), watched movies and cartoons, sang, were loud, got dirty, stayed in jammies all day, fed ducks, wrestled, built forts, and made {BIG} messes. 

Tomorrow my home will be empty of any of this life and I’m already thinking I’m going to miss the commotion. Sure, I have little projects that I plan on doing this week while I’m on furlough-ed time and I will be quite content not having to pick up toys, food, and clothes all-day-long… but I know that as soon as I drop them off at school I’m going to be thinking about them, wondering what they are doing, who they are talking to, missing their sweet voices, wishing they were at home hanging out with me. 

What I would give for another fourteen days, well maybe thirteen…cuz’ this mama doesn’t mind one day off!

Once Upon a Time...

 

January marks the time of year that I select one little word…a word I use as a 365-day-motivational tool …the word becomes the tiny string wrapped tightly around my pinky finger to remind me…a word that helps me focus and prioritize my actions, thoughts, and feelings on a daily basis for an entire year. Past words of mine have included JOY (2010), FAITH (2011), and LETTING GO (2012)…all three were meaningful and significant, and I can honestly say that each word taught me a new little tid-bit about myself that I never knew before.

My word for 2013 is “STORY”… usually, my one little word for the year picks me months in advance, before the new year’s eve ball drops, or for those in Hemet, before the first gun shots are fired off into the starlit sky. But, this word was very different in that it actually came three days late and had some crazy competition from two very worthy words, “gratitude” and “play” –which would have had some awesome potential for 2013. In the end, though, I opted for a word that gives me space to create, memorialize, capture, document, reminisce, write, photograph, be present, honor and celebrate the tiny everyday stories that make up my life, the life with my husband, and the lives of our precious boys…the good, bad, ugly, beautiful, mundane and magical collection of moments that collectively create my {our} amazing BOOK.

Now, I haven’t watched it in ages, but the movie (book), “The Notebook” actually made me start thinking about this word of mine. Never mind the serious eye candy in the movie…but the fact that this couple created a notebook as a way to help Allie remember {their} story is a beautiful tribute to a lifetime of memories. It also got me thinking…I probably have the worst memory of anyone I know…sure I am freaking amazing with short term memorization (halleluiah for that because I would have never passed any of my English finals at UCLA!)  but my long-term memory just plain sucks and is so similar to Dory in Finding Nemo that it. is.very.scary. And by very scary, I mean, holy heck when I’m 50, 60, 70, I won’t remember a damn thing and I’ll probably need my boys to wear name tags each time I see them or I’ll start calling them by my dogs’ names.

 In all seriousness, I want to focus this year on capturing (on a more regular basis) the day-to-day “stuff”. It’s so easy to do when we have a vacation and I can highlight our little adventure. But I am realizing that I am craving more than a few snippets about a trip…I want real details of what I am doing at this exact moment in time, specifics about what my boys say, do, see, think and learn. I’m so afraid that if I don’t start capturing this “stuff” now…I won’t remember any of it and that breaks my heart because this “stuff” although so seemingly little right now will be a goldmine  later when a few highlights of color won’t be enough to cover up the gray!   

So if you see me, smile and say cheese cuz’ I’ll be capturing {our} stories left and right with my eyes, mind, heart and camera!

Here are some of the first few paragraphs of our 2013 STORY:

Once upon a time…on a crisp, warm winter's day...in a land far, far away…there lived two tiny princes...

The princes loved wearing monster jackets with crazy eyes and jagged white teeth on the jacket's hood.

The sun was bright so they used their crazy hoodies to keep the sun out of their eyes...these were brilliant princes!

And on this day they had an impromptu picnic lunch at the park on the hill...  

 

 

 ...their lunches were made of only the finest ingredients, peanut butter, jelly, bread, string cheese, grapes and goldfish crackers. They drank the best apple juice in all the land.
 

 Of course after drinking all of the apple juice, one of the princes started dancing around peculiarly...and with no bathroom for miles and miles...one of the princes decided that it was better to water the park's foilage than stop playing and have to go back to his castle. Being a prince, he was of course very discreet (not!)

 And after the watering incident they played on this special playground... special because this park on the hill has some very unique features...SAND and CLIMBING OBSTACLES!

 

 It's a good thing that the princes came with their caretaker because one of the princes got stuck multiple times on this contraption of death...

After the park the two princes drove back to their castle, driven by their caretaker, to enjoy a little cupcake dessert before their mid-day slumber.  Oh the lives of these two little princes...